You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Fianna Fail’ tag.
DERMOT AHERN: Tommy Tiernan, son of Deuteronomy of Gath.
TOMMY TIERNAN: Do I say ‘yes’?
DERMOT: You have been found guilty by the elders of the town of uttering the name of our Lord, and so, as a blasphemer,…
DERMOT: …you are to be stoned to death.
TOMMY: Look. I– I’d had a lovely gig, and all I said to my audience was, ‘That piece of legislation would make Jehovah piss himself laughing.’
DERMOT: Blasphemy! He’s said it again!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, he did! He did!…
DERMOT: Did you hear him?!
CROWD: Yes! Yes, we did! We did!…
WOMAN #1: Really!
DERMOT: Are there any women here today?
CROWD: No. No. No. No…
DERMOT: Very well. By virtue of the authority vested in me under the 2009 Defamation Act —
[NUN stones TOMMY]
TOMMY: Oww! Lay off! We haven’t started yet!
DERMOT: Come on! Who threw that? Who threw that stone? Was it you Senator Norris? Come on.
CROWD: She did! She did! He did! He! He. He. Him. Him. Him. Him. He did.
NUN: Sorry. I thought we’d started.
DERMOT: Go to the back.
NUN: Oh, dear.
DERMOT: Always one, isn’t there? Now, where were we?
TOMMY: Look. I don’t think it ought to be blasphemy, just saying ‘Jehovah’.
CROWD: Oooh! He said it again! Oooh!…
DERMOT: You’re only making it worse for yourself!
TOMMMY: Making it worse?! How could it be worse?! Jehovah! Jehovah! Jehovah!
DERMOT: I’m warning you. If you say ‘Jehovah’ once more– [MR. A MATTHEWS stones DERMOT]
DERMOT: Right. Who threw that?
DERMOT: Come on. Who threw that?
CROWD: She did! It was her! He! He. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him. Him.
DERMOT: Was it you?
MR A. MATTHEWS (wearing a false beard): Yes.
MR. A. MATTHEWS: Well, you did say ‘Jehovah’.
CROWD: Ah! Ooooh!…
[CROWD stones MR. A. MATTHEWS]
DERMOT: Stop! Stop, will you?! Stop that! Stop it! Now, look! No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say ‘Jehovah’.
[CROWD stones DERMOT]
WOMAN #1: Good shot!
[clap clap clap]
(via Monty Python’s Life of Brian)
Our prime minister has his own special place on the bookshelves…
It’s not such big news considering the global situation, but Ireland’s fabled “Celtic Tiger” got shot a few months ago. Shot, gutted, skinned, skewered and then roasted. Like an express train travelling at 200kph towards a half-finished bridge, everyone saw it coming, but few dared to scream halt. The whole country was complicit in an unprecedented property scam. Ireland, for a while, became the land of the golden SUV. People were taking four holidays a year. You were measured by the size of your kitchen extension.
And all this time, the government was rolling it in. Larging it up. The cash was there from increased taxes and almost full-employment, so why not give this nation of habitual complainers the services they always wanted? Every spare penny was spent on cushioning: padding out the public services, propping up the salaries, silencing discontent with cash. Nobody complained. How could they? Nobody, after all, likes a party pooper.
But then, in 2007, the property market crashed. Crash. Bang. Wallop. Thud. Every month since then, less and less money has flowed in as waves of construction workers and their dependents find themselves out of a job. The Irish Government, with no money stored away for a rainy day, is now broke. Officially, indisputably, skint.
And yet, the public expectation is that the Celtic Tiger services stay exactly the same. That’s the public for you and who can blame it? You fight hard to get your privileges, and damned if you are not going to put up a fight if someone tries to take them away.
You would think, in a situation such as we find ourselves in today, that the political classes might get together to figure out what needs to be done. All the parties – government, opposition, everyone. Get the best administrators, the most capable leaders, the most innovative thinkers, and put together a plan that hurts like hell, but eventually gets the country out of the mess it now finds itself in.
Instead, what we find is political point-scoring on a massive scale. The entire opposition has decided that siding with the populace is the way to go. That sympathising with Mr and Mrs Murphy on Leitrim St is going to solve the countries problems. That blame is better than solution finding. That it is better to seize the opportunity now to get elected than to be constructive and engaged in solving this overwhelmingly bad situation.
Well, oppositiony politiciany folks – we need your rampant opportunism now like a chasm in the head. Unless you start telling us how you are going to solve the political crisis by making deep, painful cuts in public expenditure or increasing taxes, could I ask you to fuck off and leave the professionals to it?
There. Rant over.