I’m not a huge fan of internet memes, however after reading Truce’s entertaining memories, I thought I would give this one a go.
- My earliest memory is falling off a swing in Shandon Park. I think I was three years old.
- In 1978, my family took a boat to France where I danced to Gloria Gaynor sing “I will survive” and the Village People’s “YMCA”. It was the first time I began to take an interest in pop music. Of course, another song I was into was the “Chicken Song”, so I had a long way to go..
- When I was 11, I directed an audio movie featuring me (as hero), and my sisters (as villains). I had to coax, cajole and threaten them into performing in my masterpiece. The result was a mixture of bangs, screams, and shouts, with me (as hero) saving the universe while my sisters (as villains) cackled and died repeatedly. The marvelous thing about it was how awful my acting was – I stuttered my way through – compared to my siblings. Hollywood got away lightly.
- I played my first hurling match (at under-14 level) for my local parish in a pair of wellies. One of the players was never turned up, so I replaced him that day, complete with novel footwear. I wish I could tell you I went on to score 4 goals, but unfortunately I could barely hit the ball in those days. Despite never really mastering the skills of hurling, I managed to keep my place on the team for 2 years. Maybe having a father on the selection committee had something to do with it. Hmm..
- I went to an all-Irish boarding school for a year before I went into secondary school. It was a rather unpleasant experience as this was back in the days when teachers whacked kids with impunity any chance they could get. Nevertheless I managed to learn a lot of Irish. I was the first guy in my secondary school to ever get 100% in his Irish Entrance exam.
- I never went to hospital during my childhood. This is despite driving a toy tractor out onto a busy road in the middle of traffic; nearly getting knocked over by a train while running after a small dog; falling off a tree in front of the house; almost drowning in Butlins Mosney; missing a bullet from a guy shooting magpies; and narrowly avoiding electrocution from a bar heater. I did however manage to cut the top of my finger off while making papier-mâché with a paper guillotine.
- I was on holidays in Galway when Elvis died. Not that I knew who Elvis was. Another memory of Galway is locking myself into the boot (trunk) of the car. Is there a pattern emerging here?
- Star Wars. I used to think that my white Liam Brady Texaco ball was the Death Star and that I was Luke Skywalker single-handedly fighting the Evil Empire. This was a time before plastic light-sabres or any of those fancy things. Nope, my Luke Skywalker had a hurling stick. There’s a thought.
- My cousins from England used to come over every year, regaling us about amazing TV programs such as Blue Peter, Doctor Who and the Magic Roundabout. They couldn’t believe that we had never seen them. The games we got up to brings back great memories. I remember pouring a full bottle of ketchup over myself in an attempt to pretend that I was grievously wounded. It would have worked perfectly except for the fact that they could smell the stink from a hundred yards…
- My granddad lived with us throughout my childhood. He frequently entertained us by spitting into the fire and going berserk any time he heard the words “divorce” or “abortion” being mentioned on the telly. We dreaded going on walks with him so we would often hide out in the wardrobes and under the beds. It’s strange though: the walks were invariably interesting as he told us about things like life during the War and his memories of the Titanic disaster. He would give us a few squares of chocolate at the end of each walk.
That’s me done, how about you?